Love grows where my Rosemary goes
by LaraFinja
Summary: They are the greatest curse of all great men, daughters. -Jason Zebehazy, sister fic.
1. Prologue

**September. 1989, Hartford, Connecticut**

The bar was barely lighted but he still could make out the beautiful girl in the corner. When he thought about it a little more she seemed more like a woman than a girl, her hair felt in blonde curls down her back and reached her waist. He couldn't tell what a eye color she had from the distance he was at. But he was sure that they were just as lovely as the rest of her. The bar wasn't too crowded but there were enough hard working man like him trying to enjoy their evening off. Though John Winchester enjoyed his job through and through he couldn't wait to get away from home.

Yes he loved his sons but they reminded him so much of his dead wife that sometimes he reached a point where he couldn't bear his situation. And at this bars no one knew who he was, what he did for living or if he had kids. It was just him and a few glasses of Whiskey and sometimes after that he left with a nice woman. Suddenly the scratching of chair next to him interrupted his thoughts. as he looked up he found the corner-woman next to him.

From close up she looked even more pretty though a lost expression showed on her face. Nervously she sat up and down obviously trying to get comfortable. Which John didn't mind at all, not to make her uncomfortable he took another sip of his drink and watched with semi interested a rerun of football game.

"Excuse me?" She obviously tried to get the barkeepers attention. The barkeeper however seemed busy drying a glass.

"Ahem? Excuse me!?" She tried it again this time with little more effort the man still didn't seem to notice.

"Hey, mister! The lady would like to order a drink!" His voice was louder then hers and immediately he got the barkeepers attention. The woman next to him blushed furiously and nodded.

"Um yeah. A cold beer please." After she got the beer and a few sips on their drinks the woman stuck her hand out and smiled. "I'm Amanda Collins."

He shook her hand and nodded. "I'm John Winchester. Nice meeting you Amanda."

She looked at him for a moment and then said: "I've heard about you."

John raised his eyebrow and made her continue.

She turned red again and chuckled. "OK. I have never heard of you. Though I thought that would make a great pick-up line unfortunately I didn't have a Pointe." She rambled a little. She was adorable, maybe 27 years old perhaps younger.

He laughed. "Most definitely worked without the Pointe." She laughed and winked at him. The evening quickly turned into night and at one a clock in the morning they stumbled slightly tipsy into her apartment.

Where one thing led into another.

**5th July. 1990, Marble Dale, Connecticut**

I touched my lower abdomen and smiled, I felt the baby stir. I rubbed circles and hummed my favorite song hoping the baby would relax. The baby had a few more weeks to go and I was excited and scared at the same time. The first baby was always the hardest. And for me it was extra hard, I was going to be a single mother. After the one night stand John had left his number on the kitchen table and I had tried to call him up several times. I did not tell him that I was having a baby I just said that it was urgent. He never called me back. After that night in September he told me that a relationship with him wouldn't work because of his job. I never planned on seeing him again anyway. He was just my valve to forget the nasty break up with my Ex-boyfriend Jake. Though John was a really nice guy. Shame on that. I sighed and poured me another cup of tea, my mother the neurotic witch (for lack of other words) put me on a strict diet because apparently "even though the baby was an accident and another thoughtless action of yours I want healthy grandchildren", how nice. I wouldn't have survived the last eight months and two weeks without my secret stock of sweets and pickles. Adding four more spoons of sugar to my tea I started sipping it, silently wishing for some lemonade.

It was a sharp stab that woke me up that night, I sat upright and touched my covers, they where wet. I groaned loudly. "Damn Baby!" Another stab made me suck my breath back in. "Okay, okay nice baby! Wonderful Baby! Please don't hurt me." Shakily I grabbed my cell phone and called my brother. _"What's the matter?"_ He grumbled still half asleep.

"It's me. Can you drive me to the hospital?" 

_"Who is me?"_ He grumbled again this time more unpleasant.

"Amanda! You dolt! The baby is coming!" I heard him curse loudly. Typical. 

_"I'll be there in five minutes! Stay calm don't move your ass and mostly breath just like the yoga video told you too." _

I heard something fall to the floor and then he hung up. Idiot. I tried relaxing and slumped back into the pillows breathing in and out. Another stab flashed and I hissed. i mentally cursed myself for not taking real preparation classes. I should've, at least watched the tape and practice like they told me to instead of eating pasta and wondering how tomato sauce with bananas in it could taste so good. Another stab made me sit up again. I rubbed my stomach and tried humming again. It was working relatively well until the baby decided it was time to rip me apart from the insight. I suppressed a scream and settled to grabbing onto the sheets.

"Amanda?" I suddenly heard my brother from the hallway.

"I'm in my bedroom!" This was one of the moments where I wondered how I put up with this idiot over the last years. Or my whole life for the matter. He stumbled in just in pj bottoms and an AC/DC T-shirt. He looked flushed and hyper his eyes darted between me and my stomach and then back.

"I can't believe this, my sister pregnant."

I shook my head again and said thru gritted teeth: "Start believing it! I freaking ate the weirdest junk over the last months and then vomited it onto your furniture. Just take me to the hospital!"

He flinched back and helped me standing up. He steadied me. "My emergency bag is in the hallway."

He nodded and smiled brightly. "I'm going to be an Uncle!"

I shook my head at his stupidity. "Yeah for the fourth time if I remember correctly." He scoffed at me and continued.

"Lydia's kids are way too stuck up. And if there is any chance that they turn out like her or her Albert I'm not going to play football with them."

I rolled my eyes I didn't have time to respond another stab made me grab his t-shirt. "Just bring me to the hospital." He paled slightly and nodded.

**6. July. 1990, Hartford, Connecticut**

Whoever said that giving birth to a baby is the most beautiful experience of your life has lied. It hurt. And all the way through the procedure I yelled that I wanted to stop and eat a burger and just relax, but the obnoxious midwife insisted on pressing and breathing. Which was crap and I would never talk to that woman again. Although giving birth wasn't that pleasant, holding my daughter in my arms was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. The way her rosy face was glowing and the way her torso went up and down with every breath made me love her. And when she blinked you could easily catch a peek at her beautiful blue eyes. And the cute reddish curls that framed her face. I sighed and stroked her cheek. She was the prettiest girl that I had ever seen. Maybe that was just motherly admiration but even the nurses told me that she was beautiful.

"Miss Collins?" One of the nurses stuck her head into my room she seemed nervous and frightened.

"Yes?" I answered tired.

"Your family is here." Ahu there comes her irritation from. I nodded; this was going to be hell. Immediately after she left my mother, my Dad and my brother came in, Ben was bouncing with his every step and smiled at the pink bundle in my arms. My Mom however looked rather annoyed and my Dad wore his usual indifferent face.

"I tell you Amanda, those hospital clerks are doing no good at anything." My Mom raged, which was usual for her.

"Mom, they only do their job." I tried my best not to laugh at the ridiculous of this situation.

"Incapable! I tell you. It's best if you do this on your own." I shook my head and choose not to argue with her. All of them came closer and looked at the baby in my arm. My Dad smiled a little and stroked her cheek.

"She is really beautiful, isn't she?" He asked more rhetorical than really asking anyone.

"Of course she is, Richard." My Mom stated matter of factly, she shooed him out of her way and took a closer look. "Reddish hair." She wrinkled her nose and kept looking at my baby as if she was some piece of meat.

"At least she doesn't look like Belinda when she was born. What is her name?" I looked down at her and shook my head.

"She doesn't have a name, yet." My mother looked at me disapprovingly.

"No name? You have to be joking! You had nine month's time to decide how to name her."

I shook my head and tried not to yell at her. "She doesn't look like a Vivien Leigh! It just doesn't fit."

My Mom looked even more disgusted and went through her hair with one hand.

"Vivien Leigh? What a name. But so typical." She sat on one of the plastic chairs and pulled her cell phone out of her purse. I choose to ignore and beamed up at Ben.

"Want to hold her?" He nodded and stretched his hands out. Carefully I steadied her head and let him take her. The baby stirred a little but didn't wake up, I was grateful for that.

"She is beautiful." Ben murmured. "Yeah she is."I answered leaning back into the pillows.

"Don't you want to call Jake?" My Mom asked obnoxiously.

"Mom, Jake isn't my boyfriend anymore and he is definitely not the father of the Baby."

She looked at me disdainfully. "You know that he has a right to know about her." I sighed although I told her about me and John's liaison. "It's John Winchesters baby. Not Jakes, Mom. And he wouldn't care anyway."

"If that is so." she said in a voice that clearly said that she didn't believe me. I didn't care much about that. In this moment all I cared about was the little baby in my brother's arms. I removed some sweaty hair out of my face and smiled to myself.

"Then do you want to call that Wumbleton?" My Mom asked once again obviously hoping that I would confess that Jake was the father. I nodded and got up taking my cell phone out of my baggage. "Take care of my baby, Ben!" I said eying him wearily. He nodded still in daze and playing happily with her tiny hand that grabbed his thumb whenever it was close to her. It was almost like he was the father. I made my way over to the bathroom to gain some privacy.

"_Uh. This is Amanda Collins... again. Okay..huh. I know it is strange and you probably think that this is some kind of joke..but..um..Your daughter was born today. And I just wanted to make sure that...you know whats..going on...over here. Awkward. If you want to visit her...umm..you know where I live. Obviously...because we had sex...Okay that's what I wanted to tell you..Bye.._" With a click the call ended and I set on top of the toilet. I sighed; he probably thought that I was some kind of sick stalker. Or something equally weird. Typical Amanda Collins. What a day.

**6th. July. 1990 later that evening, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania**

Johns cell phone signaled him that he had another voice message. Sighing he heard the electronically voice tell him that it was another message from a certain Amanda Collins. He really liked the woman but he told her that he couldn't have a relationship with her. None the less he liked hearing her voice, although her last messages where desperate he never answered one of those messages, strictly trying to keep her out of his life. He pressed the button and held the phone to his ear.

"_Uh. This is Amanda Collins... again. Okay..huh. I know it is strange and you probably think that this is some kind of joke..but..um..your daughter was born today. And I just wanted to make sure that...you know what's..going on...over here. Awkward. If you want to visit her...umm..you know where I live. Obviously...because we had sex...Okay that's what I wanted to tell you..Bye.._"

As the message ended he dropped the cell phone to the floor, shocked he sat on the edge of his bed. He tried hard to comprehend the things he just heard. Daughter...born. He stood up swearing, the boys where downstairs watching some cartoons. It was a long time ago that they stayed longer in any town. Especially Sam enjoyed the fact that he could make friends in school. Dean liked it too but he wasn't half as enthusiastic as Sam. His eleven year old liked traveling and being restless. Pondering the stairs down he made his way into the living room only to see his seven year old son asleep on his brother's lap snoring softly while some talk show was running. "Dean?" His older son turned around his big green eyes looking at him questioningly.

"We'll leave tonight to Marble Dale." Almost immediately Dean smiled and then asked brightly:

"What's up over there?" John knew that he wasn't ready yet to tell him that he had a sister. So he shrugged indifferently.

"The usual, get ready. And help your brother."


	2. Love grows where my Rosemary grows

**A/N: First of; Thank you all for your support and for just looking at this story makes my day! And thanks to my beta Catishangel07, check out her stories they're really good. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. But as soon as I do, we can talk about this again. :) **

**7****th**** July. 1990. Mid-morning. Marble Dale, Connecticut **

Babies aren't interesting at all. At least my baby isn't. My baby is perhaps the only baby that doesn't scream, she doesn't burp; she just sleeps as if nine months of doing nothing are really exhausting. I honestly wish I could be her. Just sleep, eat and drool all day long. I sighed and stroked her face again. I still couldn't believe that I was a mother now; a mother of an unnamed baby. Nevertheless John still hadn't called me yet, but I was okay with that, I really was. But because I couldn't even lie convincingly to myself I had tried again to call him again, this time I didn't leave a message. I tried hard to be the emancipated, independent young woman I had taught myself to be. I was failing miserably.

**6****th**** July. 1990. Evening. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania**

It took twenty minutes to get ready and the Winchester men drove off to their destination. Sam was already sleeping again, his tiny face still crunched up showing his distaste of the situation. Dean sat next to his Dad, shotgun, resting his head on the window. John drove his car faster then allowed not one moment he had questioned, the existence of his daughter. He kept his eyes on the road as he was trying to make this seven hour trip into a three our one. And he really hoped that his sons wouldn't drive like this when they became adults.

**7****th**** July. 1990. Afternoon. Marble Dale, Connecticut.**

My hair was undone, my pink sweat pants were hanging loosely around my hip and my oversized Hockey T-shirt had fat spots. I looked like a freaking social reject. A freaking social reject, that couldn't even cook herself proper food. Truth is I hadn't gotten away from my pregnancy eating habits. I still ate pickles with chocolate crème and even soup with gummy bears in it. It was awful and my Mum had told me several times since yesterday over the phone how unhealthy my habits where and so on.

With a resigned sigh I brushed my hair with my fingers and tied it into a messy bun. The baby was still sleeping so I made my way to the kitchen and started doing the dishes. About twenty minutes later I heard a strong knock on the apartment door. I secretly hoped that it was the pizza service but because I hadn't ordered one that option vanished. Because pizza was remotely healthier than pickles with cream, I decided that it was best to eat something with at least a little bit vegetables (tomatoes for your information). But in an afterthought I was probably my mother - again.

Reluctantly I opened the door. Shocked I sucked my breath in. "John?" I took a step back clutching my stomach but realizing at the same time that my baby was already born. If I wasn't frozen I would have laughed at this weird moment.

"Hello." He said eyeing me, at this moment I was painfully aware of my appearance.

"Hi." I mumbled unable to say anything intelligent.

"Can I come in?" His eyes were searching for something, probably for the baby.

I gestured him to come in. That was the moment I saw that he wasn't alone, two boys were behind him. If my jaw hadn't dropped before it was now brushing the floor.

**7****th****July. 1990 morning, Hartford, Connecticut. Carol's motel. **

It was night when they had checked into the shabby motel. John carried Sam inside wondering how the boy had gotten so tall and heavy in such a short time. Sometimes he wondered if he didn't spent enough time at home. He looked at his older son who was plodded groggily behind him into the motel, he had grown too and he looked more mature. He was already attending middle school and still, to John it felt like he was the same four year old from back then. With a deep sigh he laid Sam on the bed furthest away from the door and pulled the blankets over him. When he turned around he noticed that Dean had already pulled the covers over his head and was sound asleep. John removed his shoes and made himself comfortable on the bed, feeling tired he switched the light off. He lay for a good hour just thinking about what was going to change with the baby and how he was going to tell his sons that they now had a sister. Half-sister he added.

John awoke from the noises of the TV, kids where way to active in the morning, he thought as he got up. He prepared himself mentally to tell his boys what they were going to do today.

"Good morning Dad." Dean said without turning around. This boy sure was made to be a hunter, he always was ,sometimes painfully, aware of his surroundings.

"Good morning boys." He stood there grinding his teeth before he spoke up again.

"We need to talk." He simply said and sat down on the couch between his sons, switching the TV off. He sighed.

"This is about what we are going to do, today." He made a short pause looking at his boys. Both looked confused, brows furrowed.

"Umm, well a few months back I….I met a woman." Dean nodded though still confused he seemed to grasp that there was no hunt. Dean raised his eyebrows but John continued.

"And well…I…um…" Well, how to tell your eleven and seven year olds that you knocked up a random woman in a bar? John first thought about back tracking and not telling them that they had a sister, just the way he had did with Adam. He decided against being a coward and just split it out.

"And now she had a baby. From me." Dean jumped to his feet.

"You mean you knocked up some random woman?!" That boy watched way too much cable TV. But as much as John was shocked by what Dean just said he nodded.

"Yes I did and we're going to see her this afternoon." Dean shook his head.

"I don't want to see that _woman_." He spat out, obviously angered.

"We won't argue about that Dean."He jumped from the couch and made his way to the bathroom slamming the door shut. John groaned he knew that it was his fault, he had been the one being careless and now his sons where going to have to deal with the mess he brought them in.

"And what do you think Sam?" His youngest looked up at him and then Sam shrugged. "Is it a girl or boy?" I laughed relieved that he at least took it good.

"It's a girl." Sam's smile grew wider.

"I always wanted a sister!" He exclaimed beaming at John. "What's her name?"

John quickly realized that his daughter could be named Twinkle or Starr and he wouldn't have a say in it. To his horror Twinkle and Starr sounded remotely good to what her name possibly could be.

"Amanda didn't tell me her name. But I'm sure you'll love the girl anyways." The last part John added more to himself, reassuring himself. Sam nodded eagerly.

"Now I think we have to convince your brother to come visit with us." John got up and knocked gently on the bathroom door.

"Dean? Please." He sounded desperate.

"NO!" Dean yelled and John heard him slide down the door, he knew that Dean wasn't crying, he hadn't cried since he was six years old. But he was angry and an angry Dean is not really pleasant.

"Son, we need to talk about this!" This time his voice was stern, getting into his usual marine command manner leaving no room for arguments.

"But Dad…" Puberty, John thought and interrupted him.

"No, Dean we are going to visit Amanda. That's final." John could tell that Dean was pissed off, but he obeyed, opened the door and with a reluctant face expression he made his way over to his bad and sat there, giving John the best glare he could make.

Dean was in fact pissed off but not because he was already into puberty it was because he felt betrayed, in his eyes his Dad had betrayed his mothers memory and himself by just pulling another civilian into the world of the supernatural. His Dad had put their safety aside; that was what had set him off. Without another word of complaint or displeasure the Winchesters got ready and drove off to find Amanda's apartment. _In the dark everything seems so different_ John thought and drove down the road. He came to a hold when he saw the two stories building where Amanda lived.

"We're here." John simply said and unfastened his seat belt. He helped Sam out of the car and walked with the boys to the stairs that would lead up to her home. It was a rather unconventional home, but because Amanda couldn't afford more she made this into her personal temple and comfort zone. With a sure pace John made to her front door and knocked. A few seconds passed till Amanda opened the door. Amanda's expressions changed between horrified, surprised and embarrassed, the later caused her to blush. "Hello."

She blushed even a little more and then said almost inaudible: "Hi."

John's eyes darted between her and the things he could see behind her; he searched for any signs that there was a baby. He grew impatient when he noticed that she wasn't going to move.

"Can I come in?" She stepped aside gesturing for him to come in. That was when she noticed his sons behind him. He saw her questioning gaze.

"Oh yeah, these are my sons."

**Amanda's P.o.v**

"Oh yeah, these are my sons." Nice.

I genuinely hoped that he had no wife in his suit case. I really hoped he had no woman anywhere, because I wasn't really prepared for a catfight or anything similar those women do to the woman's that banged their husbands. Oh well. Shaking my head to shoo those thoughts away I smiled at the two little boys.

"Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Amanda." The older one of the two made a face and crossed his arms over his chest. Ah well, I thought; at least there is no raging woman. The younger one, who was about eight or seven smiled and nodded extending his small hand.

"I'm Sam and this is…" He looked up to his older brother who still seemed annoyed and ready to jump me. "That is Dean."

Dean shot him a sour look. And I thought I was the only one with a sibling problem.

"Nice meeting you Sam." I shook his hand.

"Want to come in?" Both boys walked passed me into my apartment. I closed the door and turned around sighing and dreading what I had to do now. "So you want to see the baby?"

To say that John was drawn to the baby would've been an understatement. He couldn't stop looking at her, so I took the boys and gave them ,okay I'm not even going to pretend that I am good at cooking, ice-cream. Sam seemed to enjoy asking me questions about my life and had fun smearing the ice-cream over both of our faces. Dean on the other hand hadn't spoken a word or eaten any of the delicious ice-cream. I tried talking to him but he flat out refused to interact with me. ("And how old are you Dean?" "…") That's how the conversations seemed to be going. Me talking, him being silent, maybe he was just training for marriage I thought and got back to what I was doing.

"Amanda?" John called from the nursery.

"Yeah?" I called back, I was busy cleaning up the ice-cream that Sam and I had spattered all over the kitchen counters.

"What is her name?" He sounded unsure and suspicious.

"Uhh well, she doesn't have a name yet. I was thinking Vivien Leigh or Judy, but that just doesn't fit. So yeah practically, I just called her you and baby." I'm definitely a movie junkie.

"Vivien Leigh? Judy?" His head poked around the corner in the kitchen.

"You're kidding right?" I shook my head and smiled.

"So we have to think of a name?" He asked again, and I was damn sure that I heard relief.

"Mhm."

"How about…Jennifer?" He suggested. I looked at him in horror.

"Ashley?"

"No."

"Sarah?"

"Eww."

"Vanessa?"

"God no!"

"Nicole?"

"What are you…?"

"How 'bout Tiffany?"

"Is this getting worse?"

"Michelle?"

"Nope."

"Twinkle?"

"Twinkle sounds lovely!"

**9****th**** July. 1990, Marble Dale, Connecticut, Amanda's home. **

Two days later we finally found her name. We were on our way to the grocery store when one of the favorite songs of my father came to play on the radio.

"That's it!" I said looking at John with wide eyes jumping up and down in my car seat.

"What is it?" He grabbed the wheel I had let go when I was jumping up and down.

"Love grows where my Rosemary goes!" He looked at me confused.

"Love grows where my Rosemary goes?" His eyebrows were raised.

"The song!" I said looking at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It seemed like he didn't catch that.

"What about this song?"

"It's her name!" I exclaimed John looked at me like I had lost it.

"Amanda…Could you please explain it to me and put your hands back on the wheel?" I put my hands back on the wheel and stared at him.

"It's Rosemary." He looked at me and then to the backseat where the baby was sleeping.

"Rosemary?" I smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "I like it…Rosemary." He looked at her again and then nodded. Rosemary Winchester; my baby. Ahem, our baby.

**Reviews? Please? **


	3. The rose is a rose

**My note: Not my best chapter but please enjoy! Thanks to all you fabulous reviewers who are really supportive and probably the best readers "evaaaar"! :) Special thanks to my beta, CatishAngel07 (check out her story, please?) without her you all would think that I'm retarded. Have fun! **

**Chapter 3**

I was scared. No not just scared, I was terrified. No, scratch that, I was beyond terrified! I'm talking about being like one of those idiotic characters in one of those independent 80's horror movies, which seem to be so predictable that you start shouting at the TV that the main characters should get the fuck out of the basement because the killer is right behind the door they're going straight to. And they still go there and get slaughtered. That's how I felt. And I'm not the one to exaggerate things. At least not in this case; because this morning my sister called. She is next to my mother one of the people I really can't please, or stand. Lydia is just as stuck up and posh like my Mom. She invited herself to see the baby, and by she invited herself I mean she invited herself, her sons, her daughter and her half-bold husband. Her kids are brats and her husband is a rich dentist who never speaks more than two words each visit. Maybe that's a shield function to not have to talk to Lydia. That would be impressive and quite creepy. But more creepy, because isn't marriage based on communication?

"So tell me again. Why are you vacuum cleaning the floor for the third time?" John was definitely more amused than scared than he was supposed to be.

"I told you my sister is coming for a visit." I repeated for the thirtieth time.

"I really don't see why that is a big deal."

"You'll see, be prepared." I felt so mystic.

"Prepared for what?"

I rolled my eyes. "For the most awful experience of your life, no one escapes the wrath of Lydia." I promised.

As soon as the bell rang, everything seemed ready. My vaguely repellent pictures where removed, my favorite clothes where hidden in the cellar. All books, magazines and penguin lamps were stuffed into drawers and cupboards. It looked presentable to me. But to my sister it would be one feast of snide comments, wrinkled noses and raised eyebrows. Crap.

"Amanda!" As soon as I opened the door, Lydia's high pitched voice hurt my ears. I felt violated.

"Hey." I said with false enthusiasm, hoping that she wouldn't notice the difference. She kissed my cheek; and I instantly smelled her obnoxious perfume, a mix between cherries, curry and something else, puke maybe?

"How are you?" I shrugged and let her in. With Albert in tow she made her way into my apartment. Her three kids Sheldon, Charleston and Belinda looked annoyed and disgruntled.

"Come on in kids!" Though her kids where evil little brats from hell, I always tried being nice to them, because honestly, it was not their fault that they were the kids of my horrid sister.

"Hello Aunt Amanda." They all said at the same time, just like little creepy robots. I restrained myself from letting my left eye twitch.

"Hey kids, go on into the living room!" I said as cheerful as I could. "Okay." Sheldon said and took the lead.

"So where is _this_ famous Wumbleton?" Lydia asked her eyes showing exactly what she thought about me. Well here we go. "He is in the kitchen, with Rosemary." I didn't bother correcting her. I knew that she knew what his real name was and she was just trying to make me as uncomfortable as possible.

"His girlfriend?" I could tell that she would enjoy that.

"No, my daughter." Her face fell a little the triumph gliding from her hands, but she regained her composure fast.

"Rosemary? Mom told me you wanted to name her after some dead actress." Her eyebrows were raised and I could tell that she thought that I had no class or dignity.

"We decided otherwise."

"I see, so can we see the little lady?" No I'd rather not have you see my baby and possibly infect her with your snob gems. "Of course." So much for standing my ground.

"What a lovely flower." Lydia cooed for the third time. "I'm sure when she is a grown up she'll be a beautiful lady." Even John seemed to get more uncomfortable by the minute, but not because he was fazed by her snide comments, no; it was because he could barely hold his laughter back. What a lucky bastard.

"Yeah, well, I think it's time for Rosie to take a nap." As if on cue Rosie yawned. Good child.

**Deans P.o.v**

Dean stared at the kids. He felt dirty just watching them, they seemed more prim and proper than he and Sam would ever be. And the glares he got proved this theory. Those kids with their weird names and their weird behavior; Sheldon, the oldest was about his ages, Charleston and Belinda seemed just a little bit younger than he was. They where the bad parts about this deal it seemed. Yeah, he hadn't talked to Amanda…yet. She was nice and she tried hard to make him feel welcome and at home. Yes, he felt bad about the fact that he made it so hard for her, but this was a protest against his Dad and he saw no reason to back down.

"She is ugly." The girl – Belinda – said looking in the direction of the nursery.

"Yeah, the hair is hideous." Sheldon agreed. Only Charleston seemed to notice the glares his siblings got from Sam.

"She'll probably have freckles." Belinda stated disgusted a sneer on her face. "I've heard that redheaded people have no souls."

Anger flared up in Dean, he didn't know where it came from but they took it too far. He thought about ways the make them shut up like taking one of his father's weapons. He could tell by the way Sam was shifting in his seat that he was angry. He put a hand on his brother's shoulder to restrain him from doing something stupid. Sam faced Dean, a disbelieving look on his face, also carrying a bit of disappointment, which made Dean uncomfortable. Dean ignored the need to jump Lydia's kids and stared at his hands.

"I have heard that too." Sheldon agreed sounding smug.

"Shut up!" Dean exploded, letting go of any reasoning he had thought of, he longed himself at Sheldon. Soon, the two of them were wrestling on the floor trying to kick and punch what they could reach.

"Boy's!" Both of them stopped in mid punch and kick. "Dean let go of his hair." John's voice was stern and left no room for an argument. Reluctantly Dean let go of Sheldon's hair and retreated. With satisfaction Dean noticed a scratch above Sheldon's eye and his lip was bleeding. But the satisfaction didn't last long. "Dean, go into the kitchen and stay there! We will talk about this later!"

He heard the adults, excluding Albert and his Dad arguing, Lydia was screeching about Dean hurting her precious baby and Amanda was trying to justify what Dean did. Suddenly Dean liked Amanda even more. Feeling guilty about the way he treated her he once again he felt stupid and selfish. Maybe the baby wasn't so bad either, he had judged too easily. Dean slid off his chair trying to make no noise as he snuck into the nursery. Bending over the crib he noticed that the baby was awake, her blue eyes that had a few specks of green in them looked at him expectantly. Carefully he lifted her up supporting her head just like the way he had done this with his brother when he was younger. He stood there for a few minutes, occasionally stroking her hair. Rosemary giggled and grabbed the hand he was stroking her with. "Rosemary…" He mumbled and smiled.

**Amanda's P.o.v **

"Why are you defending that little monster?!" Lydia screeched holding Sheldon close to her.

"I'm not defending anyone, I just think that Sheldon had his fair share in this."

"Are you kidding me? If Sheldon is further injured I'm going to sue him and his shabby father!" I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"The only thing that is "further" injured is Sheldon's hair." I said using air quotes. She sucked her breath in and her lips formed into a thin line and almost disappeared. Her face was a nice shade of puce, too.

"You little…" She never ended the sentence, instead she turned on her heals end stormed out of my door.

"Charleston! Belinda! Albert! Follow!" She commanded her voice two octaves higher than usual. Watching her walk out of my door left a strange feeling of satisfaction in me. Just John didn't seemed to like the way this had been going. His face was red too.

"John calm down." I attempted for the third time, desperately trying to hold back a grin that was trying to form since Lydia left huffing and puffing. I was pretty satisfied with my performance; the next time that I will see Lydia it'll be Christmas year 2000. Yeah I was great and Dean was too.

"I won't calm down, my son jumped your nephew! And I don't see any reason why he would jump a defenseless eleven year old!" Defenseless? He is the anti-Christ, for god's sake! Once at the annual summer party hosted by my parents, I saw Sheldon shove Bobby Reid into the pool. The poor boy almost drowned and Sheldon just laughed. He is the exact replica of his mother.

"Look John I know how this seems to you but I think he had a good reason." At least I hoped so. "I'll talk to him. And you take Sam with you to get some food." John seemed to think about this idea for a minute and then nodded.

"Okay. I'll go but later I will talk to him about his behavior." Ah, and I thought that I had tamed the bull - not.

After Sam and John had left I walked into the kitchen only to find Dean missing. At first I was about to panic, he could've ran away or something equally stupid. But because the only way out was the front door he had to be somewhere in my apartment. In his position I wouldn't have dared to walk out of the kitchen. Normally John was a really nice guy but it seemed when he was angry it wasn't easy to talk to him. I decided to search for to make sure that he hadn't climbed out of one of the windows.

"Dean?" I asked.

"Yes?" This was probably the first time he actually addressed me.

"Where are you?" I kept my voice low; I wasn't too keen on waking up the baby.

"I'm in the nursery." Surprised by his answer I raised my eyebrows.

The sight that was offered to me was even more surprising; Dean had Rosemary in his arms and he was sitting on my old loveseat. She was awake and her hands where entwined with his hands. They looked cute together.

"Stay this way! I'll go and get the camera." With lightening speed I took my Polaroid camera from my living room cupboard and took a snapshot of the two. "This is really a good one." Waving the picture I showed it to them. "Aww, you look so cute!"

"Can we see it?" Dean asked and I set down next to him and Rosemary, he looked at it shortly and smiled. "I like it." For a few minutes we sat there in silence, he still played with Rosemary's hands and I twiddled with my hair.

"So…Dean…I told your father that I would talk to you about what happened earlier with Sheldon…" I was pretty unsure about this, suddenly realizing that this was part of parenting which meant that this wasn't my part.

"Yeah, I punched him." A small smile formed on my lips but I held it back, that boy had pure cheek.

"I know, but why?" I had to restrain from saying 'high five'.

"He just…said…something stupid." My forehead wrinkled.

"What did he say?" Oh god, I felt like Sherlock Holmes or the Spanish inquisition. He groaned and then mumbled something incoherent. "Come again?"

"He said Rosie was ugly…and I just flipped, I didn't mean to hurt him, I just overreacted…I'm sorry." That surprised me again, this time it was more of fuzzy warm feeling.

"Well then…high five!" He laughed and high fived me. In an afterthought I added:

"Just don't tell your Dad."

**Hope you guys liked/loved/adored it! Please do review, it takes about 40 seconds - give or take a few - and it means the WORLD to me. :D So just write a few vaguely encouraging words down there (example: it was good, could do better, my pants are too tight etc.) and I'll be happy for my entire life. Seriously.**


	4. Bird of the summer

_You guys are the most amazing people ever. I love you. Thanks! :) _

_Ps: Somerton is made up. _

_Also update from 11/14/10, I accidentally called Jill, Maddie a few times. I corrected that. _

**Somerton, Connecticut, 6. 7. 1995**

I popped one shiny bubble with my finger tip. Giggling I popped another one, this time the bubble burst into more bubbles. I stood up onto my tiptoes and tried to reach one of the larger bubbles. My short child arms couldn't reach them but I tried anyways, 'till I decided to make new bubbles. Making a fish mouth I attempted to make seemingly hundreds or thousands more. I liked to think that those bubbles were the thoughts and emotions from everyone around me, pink ones were happy thoughts and when they turned blue they faded from everyone's minds.

"Rosie what are you doing?" My mommy came up behind me holding a bowl and a whisk; she even had flour in her long curls.

"I'm making bubbles mommy!" Excited I pointed towards the sky at one of the flying bubbles.

"That's nice Rosie! Do you want to taste the dough I'm making?"

"Yes!" My mom smiled came to my level holding the bowl down so I could reach into it. I put my finger into the chocolate dough and stuck the finger into my mouth. Instantly my face formed into a grimace. "Eww." I said sticking my tongue out.

"It can't taste that bad!" Determined she took a finger full of dough and for a moment she licked it. "Oh god. That's disgusting! What am I supposed to do now?" She exclaimed waving the whisk around. "Amanda struck again, bad cooking ahead and the guest will arrive in two hours." She said referring to herself in third person. It was true her cooking wasn't the best and half of the time we ate in restaurants or at Jill's home but I liked it very much.

"We could ask Jill?"

"Good idea, munchkin!" Kissing me on my forehead she loftily retreated back into our house. "Oh and come in too! If your Daddy knew that I let you play outside _alone_ he would be furious!" Happily I bounced back into our house.

Inside the house I went to my room to change clothes. I liked to change clothes three times a day, sometimes even brush my hair that often. I was a real doll with my clothes and hair, even when it was winter I refused to wear ugly boots and snowsuits. But today I changed because for one it was my birthday and two because my Daddy was coming to visit.

His visits were rare, sometimes just four times a year, often even missing Christmas. His rare visits didn't make me love him any less, I always anticipated them; I missed him deeply and my child mind only understood that his job required him to travel a lot, which meant that he only could call me a few times a month. I missed my brothers too. Though they never missed a call and sometimes came for visits without my Daddy.

I was excited and happy. I stripped my overall off and pulled my white cotton dress over my head. It had those little butterfly's all over them which later would give me a permanent nickname. I walked back into the kitchen.

"Mommy? When is Daddy coming?"

Amandas P.o.v

"Mommy? When is Daddy coming?" I looked up from my mess - ahem...my cooking - when I heard Rosemary ask me this question for the thirtieth time. I loved her very much but this question made me sigh. Exasperated I lifted her from the ground and hugged her close to me.

"I don't know sweetheart. He said that they'll be here this afternoon." For John noon often meant evening but that was something that I wasn't going to tell her. "But it's your birthday! Your friends will arrive soon and we'll eat cake!" I tried to cheer her up but she seemed lost in thought's while she nibbled on her lower lip.

"What does afternoon mean?" She asked her big green eyes shining with curiosity. I knew that she missed him a lot and sometimes she even slept with the telephone in her hands when John had called her. It hurt me to see her suffer this much from his absence but there was only a little that I could do. His 'job' made him drive with his car to anywhere in the US. He had told me about his job shortly before he left the first time.

At first I thought he was completely and utterly crazy, but he showed me his weapons and a few journal entries. It took him some time to convince me but he did. We made a deal not to tell Rosemary until she was at least nine years old.

"I don't know what afternoon means to John, honey. But they'll be here shortly and when the other's have arrived time will pass quickly." I knew it would keep her mind off of John and the boys - I really hoped so.

"Okay." She said not very convincingly, burying her face in my neck.

"Man up sweets! It's your birthday, it's going to be great!"

"I guess..." And I was related to this non-birthday liking being? Definitely not.

"It's your birthday! Stop being a downer!" Cheering her up wasn't half as easy as it was supposed to be.

"Fine." She mumbled still not as happy as I wanted her to be.

"You're getting heavy." I groaned and shifted her to my other hip.

"I know." She chuckled evilly.

"Yeah you do, don't you?" Before she could answer my question our doorbell rang. "That's Jill." Immediately the excitement that had appeared vanished. I set her down on the floor and got the door.

"Tss, tss, Amanda, Amanda!" I was greeted with a click of her tongue, her flaming red curls were sticking up in different angles and she grinned widely. It made her look like a maniac.

"Yes my dear mad Jill?"

"Cooking? Are you pregnant again? Or did you _just_ lose your mind?" Answering her own question she shook her head.

"No, you aren't pregnant and you lost your mind when you gave your heart to the f-a-t-h-e-r of your c-h-i-l-d. So is the cooking to impress him?" Ever the bold one she hit the nail square on the head.

"Not that I blame you, but I know these kind of man, you won't get him to settle down." Though her words were harsh she grinned at me.

"I did not gave him my heart!" I protested holding my hands up.

"True. You gave him half your heart. He took the part with the logic and reason, which left me a crazy soppy woman with the behavior of a teenage girl." Unfortunately that was true, but because I wasn't willing to admit my feelings I shook my head viciously.

"I didn't give him anything. I'm an emancipated woman and I do not cook for men." Besides for my father, my brother, my cousins, my nephews and for my great-uncle Gregory, who doesn't really taste anything; that's also probably why he likes my cooking. Which equals that he doesn't count; he would even like dog food.

"Suuure." She rolled her eyes at me shoving a plate into my face. "That's the cake you asked me for. You can say that you made it."

"Well thank you, but according to you I don't bake or cook unless I'm pregnant, they would know that I did not make the cake."

"True. I thought I'd be generous today; I thought it would amend the fact that I overdrew the amount of weight-watcher points again. You know like karma." This time it was my turn to roll my eyes at her, she was ridiculously obsessed with her weight.

"Don't get overboard again; you'll have to eat a piece of cake later for the sake of your goddaughter."

"Speaking of which, where is my cool already five year old goddaughter?" As if on cue Rosemary came up behind me smiling broadly at Jill. "Come here, cupcake! Give your auntie a hug."

"Hey Jill!" she squealed and hugged Jill tight.

"You've grown since last time I've seen you." Jill said measuring her with her eyes.

"We have seen you yesterday, Jill." Rosemary reminded her.

"Ever the smart one, huh?"

"Always." I said on Rosemary's behalf.

The guest arrived shortly after Jill which meant eight frilly ballet class girls and five boys and girls from the neighborhood all Rosemary's best friends. To say it was busy would've been an understatement, the cake was gone in a minute and all the gifts were unwrapped.

As I had promised, Rosemary was laughing together with her friends and playing games, she even had one of those sparkly plastic tiaras on her head. Now and then she would have a distant look on her face staring off into space but her friends distracted her and her usually pale cheeks had a nice rosy color.

"Still waiting for John?" Jill asked carrying dishes into the kitchen.

"No I'm not." She didn't stop talking about John the whole time and she couldn't pass a moment to mock me. On my part it wasn't funny at all, joking about the lack of love life didn't help my self-esteem much.

"Funny thing is that I thought he was the first guy in your collection of men that showed a little bit of taste. If you remember Jake…" Ignoring her I scrubbed the dishes harder.

Rosemary's P.o.v.

"You're gonna marry lanky-Spency." Grace whispered to me, even taunting me a little because I had invited him. Generally most of my ballet class friends didn't like Spencer because even at the age of six he was awkward, lanky and somewhat shy.

"No I'm not." She giggled and formed a heart with her fingers.

"Spencer and Rosie sitting on a tree…" "Shut up Grace, Spencer is nice." Juliet interfered, looking pretty like always.

"Yeah he is nice and funny, I like him."

"Uhh, you like him." Grace took off laughing, her frilly pink dress bulging around her.

"Don't listen to her, she is a penguin face. Come on, want to pick some flowers so we can make a daisy wreath?" Excited I followed her, making flower wreaths was something I liked and together with Juliet it was even more fun.

"My mom made me wear this pink dress and I poured cranberry juice all over it. The expression on my mom's face was priceless!" Juliet laughed as she remembered this. I never had to wear clothes that I didn't like, my mom always let me wear what I wanted when I wanted it.

"Just like that?" I asked. "I do that every time, sometimes I even use food to damage those clothes. Mom thinks I'm clumsy."She laughed and added. "But I'm not." I laughed with her, thinking about Juliet's mother. For a moment we sat in silence.

"Ready!" I exclaimed and held my wreath up; Juliet examined it shortly and then smiled.

"Can I have it? I'll take yours and you take mine?" I looked at mine and hers, Juliet's looked dead and withered while mine on the other hand was green and pretty, nonetheless I held it out for her gracefully she laid it on to her head it worked perfectly with her straight blonde hair, that I so was jealous of.

„Now you put mine on your head."

Carefully she placed the withered flowers into my red, frizzy curls. Later it would always be this way.

"We look so pretty!" Juliet squealed, I nodded not quite as cheerful but that wasn't because I didn't think we weren't pretty but because my father still hadn't come around. "Rosie, be more cheerful!" I stuck my tongue out at her, smiling nonetheless.

"Who is that?" I heard Charlotte, one of my ballet classmates, ask. Curious I turned around to see my Dad standing in our backyard smiling at me. As always he had his leather jacket on, he even had three-day stubbles on his chin like usual. He was still my Daddy that was a great relief for me.

"Rosemary!" He called for me, bending down to my level he stretched his arms out for me.

"Daddy!" Without hesitation I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Happy fifth Birthday, baby." He lifted me up and placed me on his hip I was welcomed by his familiar smell; he always smelled like leather and a hint of cologne and something else that I never could place. For me this was back then, next to raspberry soap the best smell in the whole world.

"Thanks." He kissed me and chuckled. „I missed you, daddy."

"I missed you, too." He assured me, kissing my forehead, shifting my weight a little and then he turned around so I could see Sam and Dean come in through our backyard gate, grinning at me just like they always did.

"Hey Rosie."

**Sam's P.o.v**

For some unknown reason I was shy as soon as a saw my sister in my Dad's arms, I was scared that she wouldn't recognize me. I have read that children under five years easily forget people if they don't see them often.

Dean didn't seem to have this problem as he easily snatched her out of Dad's arms and placed a kiss on her on the cheek. She giggled a good sign that she remembered us.

What surprised me even more was the fact that Dad took her right back into his arms as if she was his greatest treasure. Dean scolded a little Dad, but otherwise he didn't lose his cool face, like he never did. Dean stepped back next to me and put an arm around my shoulder.

"Don't you want to say hi to her?" Dean whispered obviously knowing exactly what I was thinking. Dean squeezed my shoulder a little and pushed me forward a bit.

I was caught off guard by the action and almost stumbled into my Dad, who as usual was totally absorbed with Rosemary so he didn't notice anything. I didn't mind it all that much because he hadn't seen her in at least four months.

"Hey Sam." Rosemary waved over Dad's shoulder at me, instantly taking my fears away. She had grown a lot since the last time, her hair was longer and she seemed a little taller. I felt like one of those old relatives that always, no matter how long ago they saw the child, say.

"My, you have grown my dear." But I held myself back.

"Hey." I mumbled, this moment was a little overwhelming and uncomfortable, I wasn't really sure how to place those feelings. But I was rescued by Amanda's arrival. She as always smiled brightly and had her hair in a high bun, a few strands falling into her face; those strands made her look a little loony. But that was exactly what she was: loony and scatterbrained.

That was what made her so loveable, she was the closest thing Dean and I had to a mother figure. She was pretty unconventional though, because she couldn't cook and she would always give us her coupons from different fast food restaurants.

"Hey guys!" Excited she hugged Dean close, she ruffled his hair and then pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"You've grown so much, Dean." Amanda released him and moved on to me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Dean adjusting his hair and then he moved back into an indifferent stance trying to keep his cool attitude.

"And you didn't grow, Sam. Don't worry, someday you will be taller than me."

"I hope so." I heard 'midget' as often as my real name, I even had started answering to that nickname a long time ago, which is – I admit – devastating.

"You will, trust me." She also ruffled my hair leaving me with a wild mop that I was left to fix. "Anyways we have some cake left."

"Did you make it?" Dean asked skeptically.

"Haha. Funny." She answered dryly, but to our relieve she answered with.

"No I didn't." We all breathed a sigh.

Later that day, evening, Amanda's P.o.v

The dark had already fallen and only a few rays of sunshine were left to see and after the kids had left, John, Dean, Sam and Jill were the only ones left to sit at our table. I had a glass of wine in my hand and sometimes I swirled it slightly while I observed John. Maybe it was the wine, but he seemed really good looking when the sun was shining in this special ankle at his face. His hair was a little messier than usual and his skin seemed really tan.

I was sure that this all was my pure imagination and a little wine. Nonetheless it was almost mocking, I hadn't seen him in weeks and now I hadn't even had the chance to say a hello to him. I longed to feel him again.

I felt just like a school girl drooling over him, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't avoid or prevent these feelings. I should've moved on the minute I knew that he wasn't going to stay, that he would leave with my heart in his pocket but without leaving his behind. I knew this all along but I didn't move on because my heart had decided otherwise. I shook my head, trying to get those soppy thoughts out of my head and focused on Jill who was engrossed in a conversation with Sam about her job.

"I'm just a preschool teacher but I have pretty big impact in what they are going to be later, Personality wise and carrier wise. What do you want to do when you're an adult?" I knew exactly that she was trying to recruit him to the fancy lifestyle of a preschool teacher. But Sam shifted in his seat avoiding her eyes; he stiffened a little more and then stared blankly at the table.

"I'll be going into the family business." He looked shortly at his Dad and then back at the table.

"Your father is a mechanic, right?" I could tell that Jill was disappointed to hear this.

"Uhm…yeah, he is." He _was_, would've been the right answer. They all seemed to have no problem lying about what they were doing. I had though my answer to that question as always 'he is a superhero, mom' and 'he saves the world at night, mom' with this sarcastic undertone. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

"Fine." Jill took the wine bottle and poured herself another glass of wine. Looking over Dean was half asleep on the edge of his seat. It wasn't that late, but it looked like all the Winchester's didn't have enough sleep lately. All Winchester's including my daughter who was still clinging onto John. Her eyes were opening and closing and occasionally she would yawn. Since the moment they had arrived she hadn't let go of him, she even had refused to play with her guests.

She wasn't interested in her friends in the slightest; she just leaned into John. John too didn't like to let her go too far out of his reach so he enjoyed the attention she was giving him and vice versa.

I had shot a picture of them they just looked to cute! I intended on gluing the picture into our family photo album soon, so we would have something to remember from today.

My attention was brought back when for at least the fifteenth time this evening Rosemary yawned. I decided that for all Winchester kids the time for bed had come a little earlier than usual. I shook Dean slightly to see if he was still present. With a jolt he opened his eyes and came back to the non-dreaming society.

"What?" He mumbled looking around sleepily, I waved around to get his attention.

"It's time for bed." I smiled at his face expression. He was in that sixteen year old teenager phase where you try to be cool no matter what and the fact that he fell asleep earlier than his younger siblings was really embarrassing to him.

"Sam and Rosemary will go to bed, too." I assured him. I had been in that stage too one time, though I didn't have any younger siblings to fall asleep before me and I wasn't male and I was too weird and nerdy to be cool. But I didn't like to be seen with my mother in public. Then again I still don't like to be seen with her or seeing her at all.

"Get up, I have the guest room arranged for you guys." John too stood up, holding a now sleeping Rosemary in his arms. She still was holding onto his jacket as if her life was depending on it. He whispered something to her and pressed her even closer to his body.

"Which way?" Dean asked drowsily, he had problems placing his left feet in front of the other.

"Just follow me. I can show you everything." They hadn't been here before because we had moved in just two months ago. There were still a lot boxes and cartons everywhere.

"This is my sign to leave. Amanda we're going to see each other soon. Nice seeing you guys again. Oh and Sam think about your future again. I'm sure there is something else than being a mechanic." Jill got up and waved at everybody. With one last final wink she walked through my garden gate and vanished into the dark. You only knew that she was there because you could hear her muttering the word mechanic over and over.

Sam and Dean were settled in pretty fast, and shortly after I had switched the light off I heard snoring - undoubtedly Dean's. Satisfied I walked down the floor to the Rosemary's bedroom. It was softly lit with her night light. Rosemary was breathing softly. John though you couldn't hear. He was staring at her with something that could only be described as wonder and amazement. I leaned against the door frame and observed them. It was another perfect picture, father and daughter in a silent conversation.

"She is beautiful isn't she?" John broke the silence with his question. I nodded forgetting that he couldn't see me. "Hmm…she is." He said to himself, that was when I realized that he hadn't talked to me. I watched a few more minutes and then because I felt like an outcast I turned around and thought about doing the dishes. Instead I made it comfortable on the couch and leaned into the couch pillows. For a moment I closed my eyes. I wasn't tired yet but I wasn't ready to face him now – or ever. These thoughts were wiped away when I felt his arms around my hip.

He had sat down beside me and breathed on my neck raising all my neck hair. I turned my head to face him to tell him to stop but as soon as moved I felt his lips on mine. He tasted good.

Somewhat wintry not the cinnamon type, more male and rough. His kiss lasted long enough that I forgot that I wanted him to stop. This was exactly what always happened, he would do this thing, and it would last 'till he left again. It always stopped when I had my heart betrayed enough to think he would someday settle down and love me.

He never did.

**Reviews? I'm not above begging. :) **


	5. Please, please let me get what I want

**A/N: Still doesn't belong to me but Eric and I are debating over the rights. Eventually he has to give in to my charm, nobody can resist. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers. And of course thanks to CatishAngel07 who helped me translate this into something intelligent. **

**Chapter 5**

**Somerton, Connecticut, . 2001**

"No dad, it's fine." I said exasperated, it wasn't but I wasn't the one to give in.

"I'm really sorry, baby. But we really can't make it in time. Next time, okay?" I blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I know. It's okay, it isn't special anyway." It was though and we both knew that. It was the end of the year ballet class performance, the first one that I had a solo part instead of a simple background dancer.

"Next time we'll be there, I promise." It was an empty promise, I knew that he _tried _but his 'job' required him to travel far and often. It wasn't really his fault, I reminded myself.

"Okay dad."

"I love you." He replied, suddenly adopting a busy tone. _"Can I have her?" _I heard Sam ask in the background. _"Wait a second, Sam." _ Dad called and then I heard him breath into the phone again.

"I love you too, Dad."

"Bye Rosie." I didn't have time to respond because I could hear whooshing and then a little thud. My dad hadn't even had the time to wait for my goodbye.

"Hey Rosie." Sam sounded excited, something that was really rare these days.

"Hi."I croaked; I had a hard time composing myself because my tears threatened to fall. _"I'll just go out for a sec." _I heard a door close and Sam's footsteps.

"I got it!"

"What?" I heard an annoyed sigh in response.

"My scholarship, dummy." Oh, of course.

"Really? Oh my god that's so awesome!" My tears were already forgotten and dried as I was genuinely excited for him.

"Isn't it? I mean I'm going to Stanford." I was surprised the he seemed so certain; dad didn't act odd or any different from usual.

"Did you tell Daddy already?"There was a short silence on the other side of the phone.

"No…But I plan on doing it in the next few weeks." This means never in Sam's world. "You didn't plan on just leaving and writing a goodbye letter, did you?"In response he chuckled nervously.

"Of course not."

"Just tell him, you'll feel better afterwards." It disappointed me that Sam didn't have much trust in Dad. Yes Dad was going to be pissed, but eventually he would come around, he couldn't possibly deny his son a full ride to one of America's elite colleges. I was sure of that.

"You don't understand." He answered as if he was an old man who had seen many things in his long life. You don't understand is the most popular phrase used in the Winchester family, 'you're too young, you don't understand' or 'you wouldn't understand anyway so drop it', although most of the time I did understand, they just didn't like to hear that.

"No, this time it's you who doesn't understand, he is your father he can't just stop loving you. He can be angry for a while but that'll eventually fade. You have to tell him." I heard him sigh again, I knew exactly what he thought. "Please?" Maybe pleading would make a difference.

"Fine." He mumbled pretty unconvincingly. I wasn't the one to start an argument but this was just ridiculous.

"Please, Sam." Nagging seemed to be the only way to get into his stubborn head.

"Okay yes I promise."

"That means you are going to Stanford!" I was really proud of him and mom would be too when I had told her.

"I know, I still can't believe it."

"_Sam? Dad say's that we have to get going!" _I heard Dean in the background.

"_I'll be there in a minute." _Sam called back. I could clearly trace a angry edge to his voice.

"This seems to be my sign to hang up." I said as soon as he was back at the phone.

"Yeah, sorry, see you soon." All of sudden I heard a click and the obnoxious telephone beep, a clear sign that he had left the line. Thank you very much. It turned out that the Winchester's lost the ability of politeness.

"What did John say, honey?" Mom was sitting in the living room on our love seat, knitting.

"He can't come tomorrow." My mom's eyes narrowed and her forehead wrinkled.

"What is the excuse this time?" I shook my head, knowing that she was on a verge of full rant.

"They have a hunt in Virginia; they wouldn't make it in time." Disapprovingly she shook her head.

"I should call him right now." She was about to take the telephone but I held my hands up trying to stop her.

"Please Mom, I told him that's its fine. I can't just take that back." She seemed to think about that a minute but to my dismay she shook her head.

"But **I can** tell him otherwise." She swung the knitting needles viciously and then stabbed the wool with the needles. I should've taken a step back, but with a huff I flopped down onto our sofa.

"But…"

"No nonsense." She had her determined face expression on, which is a weird one, it looked a little like a mix between a Chihuahua and a hamster. Defeated I laid my head back against the sofa cushion. "Good answer." I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"How about a movie?" I suggested trying to get her off the topic.

"You'll get the popcorn and I pick a movie." I rolled my eyes at her childish excitement but I played along with her.

**Amanda's P.o.v**

As soon as Rosemary went to bed, I grabbed the telephone that was lying on our coffee table. While I dialed his number I deliberated back and forth between yelling and screeching as options. "Yeah." John answered sounding bored. Well, he wasn't allowed to be bored.

"John! What do you think you're doing?" Yelling it was. I heard some shuffling and a groan. Maybe I didn't really want to know anyway.

"Amanda?" He sounded just mildly surprised.

"Obviously. Answer my question!" I was so smooth, like James Bond just female and without all those nice affairs.

"I'm sleeping." Came the short cut answer. Then he wasn't bored, just tired – that wasn't an ounce better than being bored. I shook my head in disapproval.

"Wrong answer." To emphasize that statement I made a game show buzzing noise.

"And why is that?" He sounded impatient and maybe there was a little worry edge in his voice, oddly that satisfied me a bit.

"Because that's not what you are supposed to be doing right now." I heard him sigh.

"I can't just…leave now." And here I thought he would just change his mind and be understanding and a responsible parent but no, all I got was the stupid Winchester stubbornness.

"John! You have your daughter on one hand and a stupid, tiny, small, lousy, little, unimportant hunt on the other hand, what do you think is more important?" Maybe I had used too many synonyms for little and as he continued he sounded angry and annoyed.

"Amanda, you know it's not like that."

"No John I don't. I don't know what is going on in your head, that's why I'm calling." I was starting to get aggravated and my voice went from yelling to cold sarcasm.

"I just…can't we just leave it? Rosemary said that it isn't that important." I guessed that it was the lack of sleep that made him say something like that, otherwise I wouldn't know how to possibly react.

"Of course it's important that you come. She is a ten year old girl, she wants her father with her at this special event. She said that it's not important because she is just that nice. She probably thought that the hunt is really important to you." Silence arose between us, a little shifting and then nothing, the only sign for him being on the line was the missing telephone tone other than that there was nothing. I gave him that time to hopefully find an appropriate answer. Finally I heard a hesitant cough.

"I know. It's just that I really don't know how to treat her." He trailed of and I realized that this was the first time that I witnessed John Winchester unsure of himself. It was the kind of "weakness" he never showed, which somewhat impressed me. It confused me both the way he was acting and that Rosemary hadn't changed at all since the last time they saw each other.

"What do you mean?" I finally brought myself to ask.

"I think she might be scared of me." As sad as it was I couldn't help but laugh. Why would Rosemary be scared of her own father? Unless he had hit her or killed someone in front of her, I couldn't see a reason. And both of those options where absolutely ridiculous as he would never raise a hand to her and he sure as hell wouldn't kill anyone in front of her. Except…

"You don't think she is scared of you because of you being a hunter, right?" I had stopped laughing by now. This was far too serious to be laughed at.

"The whole daddy being a hunter that kills the bad guys **should** scare her." He insisted a somewhat childish undertone grazed his voice.

"John, she isn't scared of you, she took it quite well…If you would've waited a bit to see her reaction instead of just leaving and avoiding her you would have been the one to answer all her questions." My voice was reasoning. I knew that she had been curious but she didn't seem scared at all.

"She asked questions about _it_?" That seemed to surprise him very much.

"Of course, what did you expect? She even asked Dean and Sam about hunting. Didn't they tell you?"

"They didn't…" It was late so I decided to get him to come and end this rather pointless conversation.

"If we talked about this enough, could you please say: 'Yes I'll come I will see my daughter dance and hopefully not see her break any important body parts.' please?" He groaned, obviously annoyed that I was the one to cut our conversation short.

"Yes we'll come. Tomorrow evening is fine with you?" Stupid question, of course it was.

"Yes it is. It's wonderful, just perfect, blah blah. Goodnight John." I really didn't want to elaborate the topic any further.

"Goodnight Amanda." He chuckled and then with a click he ended our conversation. I carried the empty ice cream bowls to our sink and then turned the kitchen light off. Exhausted I brushed my teeth and fell gratefully into my bed and as soon as I had hit the pillow I felt a nice wave of sleep rush over me.

**Partlow, Virginia**

John's head fell back onto his pillow, groaning he rubbed his forehead. Why did he always have to give in to that woman? It was like back then with Mary, she always could convince him to do anything for her and everyone else. No one else could do that with him. And absolutely no one _should _do that with him.

John shifted a little so he could look at his sons. He couldn't believe that his kids had already grown that much: Twenty two, eighteen and ten, Sam and Dean were already adults and Rosemary was starting to hit puberty soon. His boys had lost their innocence a long time ago and now he feared that with telling Rosemary about the supernatural he did the same thing once again. He certainly missed his boys waiting up for him to see if he really was safe, not too long ago they started leaving together for hunts. Except for Sammy who liked to stay behind to go to school, why he did that John never knew. And come to think of it, Amanda had been right, he was a coward for telling Rosemary about the supernatural and then turning around and leaving without any further explanation. That she had talked to her brothers behind his back shouldn't have been a surprise, because honestly curiosity was a Winchester trait.

John rubbed his head trying to prevent the forming headache. He pulled the covers back up, preparing for a long sleepless night. He fell back onto his pillow and stared at the shady motel room ceiling. What a day.

**Rosemary's P.o.v**

Pleadingly I stared at the clock that was hanging above the chalkboard. With my eyes I tried to bribe it into finally releasing us. Thursday's were the worst days of the week, right after Mondays, because it was so close to Friday's you could almost taste the weekend but you still had to sit through a whole day of classes. Which made Thursday's into something utterly pointless. I was dying to get home, I wanted to enjoy the nice – and I might add early – April sun. I supported my head with my hand and stared blankly outside. Everything was right there, I was just separated by the awesomeness of spring by a wall made of glass. My eyes got glassy as I stared at the tree that was right in front of our classroom.

Suddenly I felt Jules poking me, with a jolt my head shot back up from my hands. "What?" I asked way too loud.

"I was just wondering what you are thinking about this quadratics." My teacher was standing right before my desk, as a natural reaction I went from my pale self to a hot pink. Mr. Jenkins gave me the pissed-off-I'm-about-to-eat-you look, I avoided his glare.

"So what do you think?" My face burned and I could really feel the blood rush to reach my cheeks.

"Uhh…I like circles better."

"I thought so." He gave me one more cold look which should've erased the heat of my cheeks but as usual it didn't. Then he turned back to his chalkboard to drown on about how math was the very first thing on earth. For a few minutes he looked at me, checking if I was paying attention but eventually he was writing on the board again fully absorbed by his tasks.

I looked up to the clock again only to be disappointed that there were five more minutes to go. Slowly my blood left my arm, it felt like pins and needles. Because of the warm sun I felt sleepy and my eyes grew heavy and my sight was blurry. My concentration was almost gone but I gave everything to avoid Mr. Jenkins attention. And then – finally just as I thought I would die in here -the bell rang. It was the most pleasant sound in a long time and I can't say that I ever had been that happy to hear the piercing sound.

Ecstatic I put my pencils and books in to my bag and hurried to avoid anything to do with math out of our classroom. It wasn't like I didn't like school, just today I wasn't in the mood for anything social, I was the epitome of a person living in dungeons. (Cough Severus Snape cough). Well, at least 'till I had reached the entrance door. As soon as I had felt the sun on my face I felt the urge to tell everyone how beautiful it was. I twirled a bit enjoying the warmth.

"Rosie!" I opened my eyes and had to search a little to see to whom the voice belonged, everyone was standing in my way. But then I saw a brown mop of hair jumping up and down. I pushed some of my classmates aside to reach Spencer on the other side of the crowd. Still not stopping to jump up he greeted me with an excited outburst with something that seemed to be itching under his nails all day long. "Do you know what happened today?"

"No…" I replied vaguely.

"Coach Knap told me that Freddy left the team!"

"Yeah? Why would he leave the team?" He rolled his eyes at me and shook his head at my apparently obvious stupidness. Slowly we started walking down the street.

"That's not what I meant to tell you. Couch Knap told me that I have Freddy's spot now. So I have permanent spot on the team. Isn't that great?"

I nodded eagerly my pigtails swinging into my face. "It is! You are in the holy inner circle now." Just like that he became a little VIP in our small town. Here is nothing more important than Ice Hockey; not Volleyball, not Basketball, not Football, not even human lives. Nothing compared to Somerton's Ice Hockey teams and we had six of them, three for our males, two for girls and woman and one for our little ones. And Somerton doesn't even have that many citizens.

"Maybe I can get some free ice cream!" Spencer's eyes lit up as he exclaimed his idea. And it is true Mr. Fratelli does favor our Ice Hockey Players.

"I want ice cream too." I pouted a little as a response he patted my arm and smiled showing me his tooth gap.

"Of course, best friends give each other ice cream and they come to my first game off the bench!" I laughed at his awful puppy dog face. "Only if you catch me!" As quickly as I could I took off, it was the fun that drove me because I knew that although I had little head start eventually he would catch up.

With a hard thump I landed almost face first in my front lawn. I grunted and breathed hard, with another heavy thump Spencer landed next to me. "I won." He grunted and breathed just as heavy as I did. I shook my head and laughed at his pure cheek.

"I won."

"No you didn't." He argued rolling onto his side he looked at my face and smiled.

"We are still best friends. And that means you'll come on Saturday." I couldn't argue with that flawless logic.

"Okay fine I'll come but you have to promise to come tomorrow to my ballet performance." For a moment he studied my face, his forehead wrinkled. "Isn't your father coming? There won't be any space for me if the rest of the family is coming too." I didn't answer. Quizzically he looked at me, so long that I couldn't stand it anymore, I turned onto my back so I looked up to our blue sky. "He isn't coming is he?" He asked quietly, I shook my head no. Without a word he thrust his pinky finger forward and I linked with my own one. For a few minutes we just lay there. But then Spencer stood up brushing grass from his jeans and extended a hand to help me. He took a little more strength than he needed and made me almost fall over back into the grass. But I found my balance fast enough and he helped steady me. "I have to take care of Ronnie now. I'm sorry."

"Can't your brother do that?" Spencer shook his head and brushed some grass out of his curly hair.

"No. He actually does something productive today, he has an interview at Mickey Krueger's Video rental."

"Like a real job where he actually has to work at?" David wasn't exactly the laziest person that I've ever seen but he came pretty close, but then again working at Mickey Krueger wasn't really working.

"I know…I'll get him to come with me tomorrow and I bring Ronnie too. See you!" He turned around and started jogging. When he arrived at his front door he waved one last time and disappeared. If my Dad would've been here I wouldn't be standing outside. I wouldn't enjoy the sun and I wouldn't feel this aching in my stomach.

Lulled in my favorite blanket me and my Mom sat on our garden bench. We both had a cup of hot chocolate in our hands and although it wasn't later than nine the sun was already fading. I cuddled a little closer to my mom to get a little of her heat. My head was on her shoulder and her right arm was wrapped around me.

"And so Sammy has decided to go to college?" Mom asked for the fifth time but I knew that it was unbelievable that our awkward Sammy would take such a big step. "One of my baby's is leaving the nest." Mom waved her left arm to dramatize her realization; she almost spilled her hot chocolate.

"He is eighteen mom, I don't think he is classified as a baby."

"He will always be my baby." She said, adopting a high pitched tone. She cackled like a mad woman and then laughed at my face expression. "At least you are going to stay longer with me, honey." She kissed my nose and pressed me closer to her.

"Who knows?" I answered, thinking about how I wanted to explore the world and how I wanted to meet so many people.

"I'll come with you when you start exploring the world. Venice is so much more beautiful when you are sharing it with another person." Her green eyes that resembled mine so much sparkled. I knew that before I was born she had planned a back pack trip to Europe with Maddy. So I nodded, feeling a little guilt bubbling in my gut. I sipped on my cup, the warm liquid felt good as it ran down my throat. I always thought that hot chocolate was to me what blood was to Dracula. Faintly I heard a noise that was vaguely familiar, it sounded like a kittens purring, just more… metallic. I dismissed it with a yawn I tried to disguise so my mom wouldn't see.

"I think it's time for bed my actual baby." Too late. Though I wanted to argue about that, all she got was another yawn. It was infectious and soon we both gave a little yawn show, neither of us could stop and soon we were laughing while we were still yawning. It was the door bell that saved me. With lightning speed I jumped of our bench and ran to the Front door. It took me a little to get the door open because it was old and it never opened up at the first time. With a defeated screeching it gave in. And there they were. Three tall men, all of them related to me in some way.

"Hi…" I said, I was more than surprised, I was a little shocked because this was absolutely not how it was supposed to be.

"Hey Rosie." That was when I came back out of my little trance. With a little more strength than I needed I slammed the door right into their faces.

**Please fill in the dooblydoo and tell me what you think. ****J**** If you hate it tell me..if you don't please tell me too. **


	6. Just a quick update

Hey hi hello.

I'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I have some personal problems that I really need to solve before I start writing again and I have a bad case of writers block. The problem is male and my ex-boyfriend. Hoooray. I can't get him of my mind… and I always get lost in my thoughts when I try to write. Over the past months I have written about 1000 words so you see I'm working… just really slow. If you have any ideas what I can do to solve my 'writers block' tell me. :)

Lara

PS. I really want to thank you for your support..Keep reading! I'll be back.


	7. Tiny Dancer

A/N I know took me long enough didn't it? Haha. Sad. Anyways if you have sticked around long enough and waited for this you will be pleasently surprised. (I hope). I really love you guys. Thanks to all of those who send me messages and favorited even though I wasn't actic for almost half a year.

CHAPTER 6

**Somerton, Connecticut, 2001 **

For a few seconds I stood in front of the do and with utter amazement I stared at my hands. Today was certainly not one of my brighter days, in fact because I was this bright I needed a flashlight to light up my inner dim-witted person. I spun around and ran up the stairs. I really didn't know why I slammed the door in their faces and I hoped that I wouldn't have to face any consequences. Tears sprung to my eyes as I sped up the stairs I reached my room and dropped to my bed. My tears wetted my pillow quickly.

**John's P.o.v**

_She is scared_ was the first thing that came to John's mind. It wasn't the first time that a female slammed a door in his face, but normally they had different reasons. It was Sam who raised his hand to knock against the white door again. A few seconds passed until the door opened with a screeching crack and with a swift kick from Amanda it opened fully.

"What are you guys doing here?" Her eyebrows were raised and smile played on her lips.

"We are here like you requested. Or should I say demanded?" John said a mocking undertone in his voice and he reached up to his hair to ruffle it, a clear sign of his discomfort.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "No, I meant what you are doing, standing in front of the door, instead of inside. I thought that Rosie had gotten the door?"

"She had." Sam informed her, his eyebrows were raised. "She just closed the door right again."

"Not the first woman to do that to us." Dean added, grinning like an idiot, John guessed at a memory.

"For you that might be true, not for me though." Sam disagreed. John's forehead wrinkled as he looked at his sons. One more time he thought about how much they had grown. He glanced at the stairs, his mind trailing back to his youngest the one that he needed to protect, the one that needed him the most. The one that he had scared in a bad attempt to make her sensible for the things that were out there.

"Do you know why she slammed the door in our faces?" Though not visible for the others he ran his tongue nervously against his lower teeth, a habit that he had developed when Rosemary was born. It was the only sign of stress that he allowed himself.

"I would guess puberty." Amanda said smiling wildly. It unnerved John to see her carefree when he was so nervous. "Soon we are going to talk about boys!" She exclaimed clapping her hands. All three Winchesters made a similar hostile face expression. They liked to think of her as the baby and they wouldn't mind if it stayed that way. "What?" Amanda asked.

"I'd rather have her slam doors in their faces." Dean said and Sam nodded with an uncharacteristic amount of enthusiasm. And John for his part didn't vocalize his opinion but quietly agreed with Dean completely.

"That's silly." Amanda said waving her hands. "You can't expect her to stay this young." John felt a twinge in his stomach. She was right, but he could try couldn't he? Probably not his subconscious mind told him.

"Oh we can." Dean said grinning; Amanda though shook her head in disagreement.

"Yeah of course you can, and next time when the Easter bunny is coming by it will get me pregnant instead of giving the usual eggs." Amanda said sarcastically and rolled her eyes a she stepped a bit backwards to let the Winchester man enter.

"Uh, actually its old folklore that the..." Sam started but stopped when he saw the look Dean gave him. "Never mind." Sam grumbled and shot Dean a look. When all of them were settled in, Sam was typing away on his Laptop and Dean watching MTV, John turned to Amanda wearing a hurt and confused expression.

"Go." Amanda said and pointed her head to the stairs. For a moment John stood there just getting his thoughts in order. Even after ten years of having a daughter he really had no clue how to deal with the emotional side of females in general. John sought after Amanda's support but she had walked back outside to collect the blankets and mugs. Defeated and helpless John walked up to Rosemary's room.

**Rosemary's P.o.v**

I heard his heavy steps coming up the stairs. I quickly dried my tears and pulled the blanket over my head and then pretended to sleep. Lucky as I was I had forgotten to switch the lights off and so my scheming wasn't really convincing. I became still when the door cracked open.

"Rosie?" Dad spoke low and almost uncertain. I gave him a fake snore in response. He laughed gruffly and sat down on my bed it bend down under his weight. I turned around now my back was facing him. "Oh." He said and shifted on my bed. We then both fell silent. I breathed weakly and hiccupped.

"I know I suck at this but please listen to me." He waited for me to answer and when I didn't respond he continued. "I didn't know it was this important to you, when you told me it was okay I thought it was. But I should have known, shouldn't I?" My stomach ached when he stopped talking. "Females." He mumbled under his breath, still clear enough for me to hear it. I turned around and looked him in the eyes. I gave him a small smile clearly telling him that I was sorry and that I had overreacted. It was clear that we both knew what we thought and said were different thing, completely different from what we meant. But Dad never had been good with words and I understood his silent apology. And he understood mine.

I slipped my jacket off and kicked my shoes and schoolbag in the corner. "I'm home, mom!"

"Don't you run away from me, help me set the table!" I froze mid step and rolled my eyes, normally we didn't even use the table much less the plates. But I complied and plodded to the kitchen. There she was – my mom – wrapped in an apron printed with many little cherries and corn.

"Nice apron." I complemented dryly. She looked up and narrowed her eyes at me.

"I know. It keeps me from getting food smeared on my clothes." I laughed and pulled the plates from the shelves and placed them on the kitchen table.

"And it also makes you look like Donna Reed." She huffed and pulled the flowery thing off and threw it into the cupboard.

"This is a non underage talking zone." She mock ordered. It was then that Dad came in with oil stains all over his jacket and hands.

"Mom you should've given Dad your apron. The flowers would go with his skin tone." My joke was ignored because Dean came pounding down the stairs with Sam on his heels.

"Something is burning in here!" He said a spray water bottle in his hand. I smelled it too.

"My food!" Mom cried out and rushed to the oven, she pulled something you couldn't distinguish out and placed it in the sink.

"A water sprayer?" Dad asked Dean with eyebrows raised.

Dean scratched the back of his head and answered with a simple: "Yeah…You never know." I sighed and moved back to the table to put the plates back on the shelves. They would probably stay right there till next Christmas.

"Who should I call?" Sam asked, telephone in his hand and a smile on his face.

"Ranjit." I said and Mom nodded along.

"Best Indian food in a two mile radius." Mom added pulling the elastic from her ponytail to free her hair.

We had to wait half an hour until the food finally arrived. The best things always arrives last, right? Ah well. While I pushed the rice drained in sauce on one side and the dry rice on the other I noticed Mom sneaking looks at Dad. "My, my how can I resist you, mamma mia here I go again, my, my just how much I missed you…" I hummed under my breath and shot pointed looks to my mom.

"Didn't I say that this was a non-underage talking zone?" Mom asked when she noticed that I was directing ABBA at her.

"I'm humming." I said in sing-song voice. Dean caught up first and laughed at Amanda's misery.

"Oh." Dad caught up next and blushed. "This calls for a topic change." Dad grumbled and smacked Dean on the back of his head.

"Yes it does." Mom agreed frantically looking around until her eyes came to a rest on Sam. "You've been oddly quiet Sam. Is something up with you?" She asked, clearly ignoring Sam's discomfort because all eyes were resting on him.

"Uhm…no." Sam said his eyes vanishing under his shaggy hair. Mom's eyes widened and she smiled brightly, as if she was remembering something. It smelled like catastrophe.

"Oh I forgot to congratulate you on your full ride to Stanford!" I slowly slipped down in my chair and buried my face behind my hair. Mom had dropped the bomb that Dean and Dad hadn't even smelled yet. We were screwed, Sam had gone over this with me a million times. He didn't want them to know till everything was decided, signed, sealed and delivered.

Clanking Dad's fork fell on the table, his face expression was a mix between fury, anger and hurt. "Sam?" Dad yelled standing up making Sam feel small in the process.

"Dad I can explain…"

"Explain what!"

"Guys! Guys calm down!" My Mom tried - fruitlessly. I looked at Dean who was just as enraged, my eyes pleading for him to help but he didn't notice me. Dad spun around and glared fiercely at my Mom.

"I won't calm down, Amanda." His voice controlled but his eyes blazing, he then turned to Dean. "Don't." Dad growled when he noticed that Dean opened his mouth.

"But…"

"No."

"But I…" Dean started but was cut off by Dad's glare.

"John be reasonable, is this really how you should react?" Mom said and stood up too, dad now glared at her.

"I'm being reasonable here, furthermore this is none of your business!"

"Oh really?" We all cringed at the high pitched touch my Mom's voice got.

"Mom, please don't." I pleaded tugging on her sleeve, thinking that it was no good idea to fight with a Winchester. She looked at me and at Dean, clear determination in her eyes.

"How about you and Dean leave for a while?" I blinked and looked at Dean who looked back at me – dumbstruck.

"Fine." He hissed and stood up slamming his plastic knife on the table. Then he pulled me roughly out of my chair and maneuvered me back to my shoes. As soon as my feet were in the shoes he pushed me forward indicating that I'd better move fast. Silently he pushed me to the impala. For a few seconds we sat in silence till Dean broke it.

"Did you know?" His voice carried a hurt undertone but his expression was calm, to calm for my liking.

"Yeah…" I turned to look out of the window and we fell silent again. Winding down the window I placed my feet on the frame. Dean didn't even bother to tell me to stop contaminating his precious car.

"Why would he tell _you_ instead of me?" I shrugged before I noticed that the question wasn't directed at me. He pulled my feet back in without a word and stuck the keys in the keyhole, the engine roared and we drove off.

"We should get Ice-cream." Dean had been silent all the way to the park we were now at. He had been sitting next to me, then and again sighing which was the only hint that he was alive. He was angry, obviously, but I wasn't sure who he was angry at. Was this my fault? Had I by telling my Mom brought this on them. I hadn't even been _sure_ that Sam was _actually_ going to Stanford.

"Mhm." Dean finally replied.

"Ice-cream makes happy." I said and got up I walked down the path back to the playground where old Mrs. Fratelli was selling ice cream at her stand.

"Hello sweetheart. What can I do for you?" She greeted me smiling warmly, just as warm I smiled back.

"Hi Mrs. Fratelli, I would like two chocolate ice cream cones." She singled handedly scooped up my favorite ice cream and reached over the counter to place them in my hands. "Thank you!" I pay her with my last pocket money and turn to go.

"No thank you, dear, it's the first chocolate ice of the year, you have to enjoy it." She laughs and I smile in response.

Walking back to where Dean is sitting, still brooding and huffing. "Here." I passed the ice cream to him and sat next to him Indian style.

Licking I stared at him my eyes occasionally darting between him and the clock that was mounted over the entrance door of our only drug store. The clock would be striking half past four soon. I needed to be back home at half past five at the latest, the recital would be at six and I needed to get changed first. But then again, what if they hadn't stopped fighting yet, what if they just decided not to go? They would probably take off before Sunday, like they always did, searching for the supernatural. Leaving me and my mom behind. Not that I minded not being include in the whole hunting deal but I missed them in my daily life. I missed them a lot.

**John's P.o.v**

John looked up when the door opened. Two pairs of green eyes stared back at him, one pair gloomy and one pair fierce and angry. John inwardly shrank at the sight of his two other kids. This was stress, after the yelling match he had with Sam and Amanda he felt like he would never be able to talk again. His throat was sore and his stomach ached with pain – guilt even.

Sighing he rubbed his face and sank back into the couch, leaning back and closed his eyes; he heard Dean walk upstairs to the guest room. Amanda and Sam were back in their rooms too. He was alone, or so he thought. He jerked when the couch bent under someone's weight. He opened his eyes and looked at Rosemary, who was biting her lip, uncertainty written across her face. He reached out and tugged her close to her.

"What's wrong?" He asked and rubbed his stubbly beard.

"If you don't want to go, it's okay." John could clearly see that it was not okay if he wouldn't go so he shook his head. On any other day he would've said yes and enjoyed a quiet day. But this was what they had been coming here for, he wouldn't ditch his daughter because of Sam's nonsense.

"No we'll go." He said firmly and stood up. "Go get your things so we can leave and I'll get your Mom and Sam to come too."

If she would've been a boy this would be so much easier: no ballet recitals, no hair braiding and no tears for Bambi's mom. There would be soccer games, scratched knees and cartoons. All things he had dealt with already, things he knew solutions for.

"I'll go get my stuff." She said a sincere smile on her face, the smile he could never resist; even Sammy's puppy eyes didn't have this effect on him.

Thinking Amanda would be outside he walked through the sliding door into the garden, and indeed there she was sitting Indian style on the bench with cigarette dangling from her mouth. He sat down next to her quietly thinking intently about how to say something, anything.

"Still think it's none of my business?" There was no humor in her voice or her eyes, normally you could always hear or trace a bit humor in her manners. And she was right, it was her business. Maybe not as much as it was his responsibility but she was the only mother figure the boys had and even though it was his decision to dislike Sam's plans and forbid it, she still had a right to say that she wanted Sam to go, even encouraging him.

"You're right, that was inappropriate and uncalled for. You have your opinion and I have mine, okay?" A truce was a good idea. It would calm the waves for a moment and would give him time to find some better excuses.

"Don't you dare to say something like that ever again." She said bitingly and took a drag from her cigarette. And there he was, forgiven.

"Are you coming?" It was Rosemary standing in the door frame, bag in her hand and hair up in a messy bun.

"Sure, baby." Amanda said and tried to let the cigarette vanish unnoticed. Unsuccessfully of course, Rose noticed immediately.

"Mom! I thought you stopped smoking after Gerrit left!" Rosemary wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Yeah well, sometimes it helps against stressing and irritating situations." Amanda shot a look to John.

"In the long run it causes long-term sicknesses and the people who smoke passively are more likely to get lung cancer, I could get cancer!"

"Great another geek. Sammy boy is rubbing off." Dean appeared in the door frame and leaned against the opposite side of Rosemary, eyeing Amanda and John skeptically but amused.

"Hey, I'm not a geek! I'm well informed." Rosemary argued blushing as always. John fought back laughter at her poor attempt to defend herself.

"Sure, nerd-girl." Rosemary pouted and then turned back to focus on Amanda and her cigarettes.

"Before you or I die, we need to get going to my recital. We're getting late and I don't like being late."

"The best people come late." Amanda answered, smirking she walked past Dean. Leaving Rosemary scowling and wondering who the child was in their relationship.

They were late, as always, Rosemary complained and Amanda smiled. Rosemary rushed to her teammates, Dean called them that for the lack of other words and because he liked mocking Rosemary for her hobby. Amanda led the Winchesters to the front row where two boys and a toddler were seated. Amanda greeted them warmly with hugs and then went to introduce them.

"These are Spencer, David and Ronnie. Meet Rosemary's father John and her brothers Sam and Dean." They all grunted as hellos and went to sit again. It wasn't exactly cold, just awkward. And John wondered if they were the replacements for him. He couldn't even take offence to that. He knew that Rosemary had people who supported her when he wasn't there to take care of her. She had her uncle as an substitute for him. But who was there to teach her how to defend herself not just with words but with more physical features? He was worried again he was going to die of a stroke if he didn't work something out to help his consciousness.

"I am happy to announce our little ballerinas, tap dancers and jazz dancers." The announcer, a dark haired chubby woman, made a bow and the recital started with the smallest girls and boys. It was nice, boring, but nice. John repressed yawns and tried to conceal them. Poorly so, Amanda noticed and stabbed him with her elbow, the fight forgotten and all in good humor. As much as he liked to butt heads with everyone and he disliked apologizing he couldn't stand it when the people close to him were mad. Family was important, more important than little hunts.

"You did great, honey." John said to Rosemary when she finally came out of the building, her face flushed and her eyes bright. Truthfully he hadn't been focusing at all but he was just as proud as if he had watched. When everyone was done with congratulating her, Spencer and his brothers with a sleeping toddler drove of Rosemary was staggering too. She was tired, the adrenalin had left and now the events of the day had worn her out.

"Come here." John whispered and lifted his ten year old up in his arms. Just like when she had been five she wrapped her arms around her neck and yawned sleepily. John liked the easiness of this moment. The comfort of happy long gone memories.

"I think it's time to get back." Amanda said and took Sam by the arm to lead him to her car. They had split so they could all fit and avoid any confrontation. Sam had been quiet all evening, occupied with sulking and angry glares. Thanking god that Rosemary wasn't old enough to decide what she wanted to with her life, John thought as he placed kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you for coming." Rosemary whispered grateful and leaned against John's shoulder. Dean drove them back home slow, AC/DC playing on the radio and Rosemary sleeping in the backseat. John's head been resting against Impala's window, when he finally knew what to do.

**Rosemary P.o.v.**

I had been sleeping deeply when my Dad woke me up. I was tired and groggy but followed his orders to dress and get down eating breakfast. I noticed the time when I was dressed and down in the kitchen, it was half past five, and for a short moment I thought that he was going to kidnap me. The idea quickly disappeared when I thought about the way he was living.

What was he up to? I voiced my question but he just shrugged and left my in the dark. Nosy as I was I asked a second time. "I want to teach you some things."

Good enough for me, but not good enough for my curiosity. Still I kept my mouth shut. Still sleepy, my eyes still small as we walked to his pick and he helped me into the front seat. The thing was higher up then usual cars and my moderately short legs weren't much help when you tried to climb into that thing. We drove about an hour when we finally came to a stop. Half of the time I had been dozing off, but Dad had pocked me as soon as my eyes had begun to flatten shut. We stopped at a forest. Dad grabbed his bag from his truck bed and left me standing next to his truck.

"Come on Rosemary!" He called over his shoulders and I hurried to his side and fell in step with him, still half asleep and not fully focused. Normally I liked everything green but right now I was cursing it all, my feet were wet from the morning dew that was dropping from the grass as we trudged through the green.

"Stop right there." Dad instructed me and I flopped down into the wet grass hoping that my rain jacket would keep some water out. He set up a target and slowly it dawned on me what we were going to do. And it didn't please me. Teaching me how to shoot wasn't really child friendly.

"Come over here, Rosemary." Dad ordered and reluctantly I obeyed. "Okay first off, no fooling around, okay?" Skeptically I looked up to him and pursed my lips. If I could avoid this then I would.

"Okay." I answered with a small voice. He pulled a gun out of his jacket and eyed me again, to be sure that I wouldn't break my promise.

"Good." He first instructed me how to put the safety catch on and off. And then placed the thing, as I lovingly called the gun, in my hands. "Be careful." The cold metal clashed with my sweaty warm hands.

A/N Thanks to CatishAngel07 for betaing this. You are great! :D


	8. Afterglow

Chapter 7

**9****th****. February 2006, Somerton, Connecticut**

„_Don't get raped, "_

„_Be careful, "_

At the beginning the voices had been jokingly, quietly ringing like an echo in my ears. But now that I was on the streets, freezing I realized how vulnerable I really was. I increased the speed of my steps and removed my blaring earplugs, so I could hear if somebody followed me. The trees where rustling making this seem like I was stuck in an eighties horror movie, every hair on my neck was raised, signalizing that all the hormones actors seemed to lack were rushing through my blood system.

And then suddenly I heard them, steady steps coming out of nowhere. Somewhere in the back of my mind I realized that I was acting stupid, chances were that it was just some guy with his dog going for a walk. These thoughts as rational as they were, couldn't keep me from stealing a glance over my shoulder, as inconspicuously as I could and as fast as I could I turned my head, and judging by the way the person was walking he was a young man, his face hidden behind the shadows of his hood.

Then suddenly he lifted his head and for a millisecond his eyes caught mine. I shivered, every fiber in my body was screaming for my senses to kick in to run for life. And then as if the guy had smelled what I was about to do, he started to walk faster.

I knew from my P.E experiences that I wouldn't last more than hundred meters; it was shameful but after I reached my limit I would lay on the floor and my lungs would feel like they were shrunken to two poor raisins.

My eyes widened when I could hear his breath right beside my ear. Panicked I reacted without thinking and started to run. I ran faster than I ever had been running the adrenalin rush was making it easier but not easy enough.

I could feel my raisins desperately trying to catch bits of air. It was hard to keep up with the pace and my pulse was ringing in my ears. I rounded a corner and in the spur of the moment I made a dive for the hedge. I rolled to the ground and pressed my face into the wet grass. The grass muffled my panting. I wasn't even sure if I had been followed or if I had just imagined things, I couldn't hear any steps over my pulse and breath. After five seconds that gave me time to grow uncertain, I realized that if anyone had seen me I would be the running gag of the town.

Suddenly I was yanked backwards, for a short moment I was dangling in the air. For a moment I had the impulse to scream for help but hands where brought over my mouth before I could do anything. I would've kicked or scratched but the adrenaline had left my body a long time ago and my raisins were completely empty too.

The guy grabbed my neck aggressively and pushed me forward. Wobbly I sat one step in front of the other. I knew all the ways how to defend myself Dad had taught me, but all these self defending-shit never actually taught you how to unfreeze or how to make your voice work again.

Helplessly I let him push me and when we had reached his white pedophile van, I hadn't made a peep. It was just it had been when I was younger and had repeating nightmares of the same kind. My heart dropped when I heard he engine roaring.

And then I felt a cotton towel sneak over my mouth and nose. When realization hit me I knew it was chloroform.

10th February 2006

I woke up in a cold room the temperatures had to be in the negative. And I was alone, my kidnapper was nowhere to be seen or heard. And surprisingly I wasn't tied down. And my kidnapper had let me see his face, which was never a good sign.

I wasn't stupid, I knew that he had no intentions of ever letting me go which would eventually mean that I was going to die. Wobbly I got up, steadying myself working me up the wall. I felt my way along the wall to the wooden door, weakly I shook the door. It was locked which was not surprising. Angry tears formed in my eyes.

This was pointless. And then I heard steps, heavy seemingly male steps.

**Amanda's P.o.v**

Two days. Two days in hell. It wasn't at all like the TV showed you, it was more intense, tiring, heart breaking. I hadn't gotten any sleep at all.

My face was make-up free and red. I looked like an old woman, I even _felt_ like an old woman. Everything inside me felt like hurling.

The police was at my house 24/7 taking up all my time asking every question they could think off. Nothing led to where my fifteen year old daughter was. There was no clue on where to find her.

And I knew from all those shows that after twenty-four hours most kidnapped children where already dead. But I hadn't given up yet, I was going to call the only capable men to find my daughter.

Rosemary's Dad, I trembled as I scrolled the menu of my cell phone for John's name, the chances where ninety five percent that he wouldn't pick up and since we hadn't heard from him since Christmas I was sure that all the hopes I had where a cheap give away. It was his mailbox.

"_This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean at 866-907-3235. He can help_."

I began to sob. I had longed for him, he had to be here, here to help me, here for our daughter who was probably raped and murdered by now.

"Honey…" It was Mike, my boyfriend; he started to rub my back trying to comfort me. It wasn't comforting at all. I wanted to be alone.

"Please." I said hiccupping.

"Okay." He said and defeated gave up. "I'm going to bed. I'll maybe read a bit." It was a 'subtle' reminder that he was going to wait for me. Like he always did wait for me, wait for my decisions, wait for the steps we would take in our relationship.

Wait for me to get over John. I wouldn't go to bed anyway. And well, if John was so trusting in my surrogate son, I should call him. So I dialed his number. The dialing tone was signalizing that the line was free and then it cracked. Relieved more tears sprang from my eyes.

"Yeah?" It was Dean.

"Hey, it's Amanda. Dean you need to help me, Rosemary…"

"Hey, hey…slow down I can't understand what you are saying."

"Okay, okay." I said, my voice cracking, taking a deep breath I forced myself to continue.

"Rosemary is missing and the police didn't find anything and I…I… I can't even...Please help me."

"Calm down. It's…I'm sure that she is alive." I was crying again, I heard Dean curse at the other end, rummaging for something.

"We will be there tomorrow morning. Call me if anything happens." And then the line went dead. My shoulders slumped, I really had hoped that I would feel better, but it wasn't as relieving as I thought it would be. Then slowly I got up deciding that it was for the best to go to bed and try to forget or at least put my mind to other things.

I switched the kitchen light off and then I sneaked up the stairs into my bedroom. Mike had been waiting for me, he patted the space beside him and I grateful as I was hurried to get to his side. He put his arm around me and then kissed my forehead pressing his face into my hair.

"Everything's going be okay. Don't worry, she is a strong girl."

"I know…But…"

"No buts, Amanda. Everything will work out."

Rosemary's P.o.V

"So little girl, this is how it goes. You are going to keep your mouth shut. Whatever I'll tell you you're going to listen. Got it?" He was right at my face staring me down.

"Please," I pleaded knowing that it was not going to help.

"No! That's not the answer I wanted to hear from you!" His hand collided with my cheek sending my head to the side.

"I got it." I knew I looked pathetic but all I could think of was surviving, even if it was highly damaging to get out of here.

"Good." He grabbed my arm and held a knife to it, shocked I jerked back trying to get my arm out of the way but he gripped me tight yanking me back forward bringing the knife down. It was a little above my pulse, and the cut was bleeding heavily, my face scrunched up in pain.

He squeezed my arm and let the blood pour down into a goblet. Smoke started to appear and a disgusting note of sulfur stained the air.

"It's almost done." He said locking with me then suddenly his eyes went black, leaving no white behind.

"What are you?" I exclaimed shuffling backwards.

"Tss, tss. Has your Daddy taught you nothing? I'm a demon."

"A demon?" My panic was forgotten for a moment, was he a Satanist? Kidnapping me for some really weird ritual? Couldn't he have just snatched a rabbit or a rat?

"A demon of Lucifer and honey, we are everywhere." With that he took the goblet in his hands and walked out of the door, slamming the door shut behind him. For a moment I stared at the door, my fear creeping back into my mind.

And then I realized that I hadn't heard the locking sound of the door.

I stood up almost jumping and then I ran to the door yanking it open. I grabbed it before it could hit the wall, trying to make no sound I crept forward sneaking looks around the corner.

I was in an old abandoned warehouse. And the room I had been trapped in had to be an old office. I couldn't hear the demon so I grew confident. As fast as I could I ran up the stairs, I rounded a few corners until I realized that the building was a labyrinth.

I couldn't find any way out and there were no signs beside the obligatory 'beware building is in danger of collapsing', which made orienting difficult but eventually after a few wrong turns I found a stair, it was barely lit but there was light, I concluded that there was a window.

An escape.

When I rounded the corner I realized that I had made a mistake. The supposed window was a bunch of candles that were draped in a circle around the demon who was bending over a table, his hands fluttering in weird motions around his body, making it look like he was performing a personalized demon 'Macarena' dance.

And he was mumbling in Latin, at least I was guessing that. A mix of rosemary, valerian and fennel was descending from the table, it was a bland smell.

I had watched enough horror movies to guess that it was some kind of messed up summoning ritual. I was frozen to my spot, fear leaving me paralyzed.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I could feel my chest tighten, I tried to repress my breaths but I was unable. Raspy breaths escaped my mouth echoing from the walls.

I made a turn and pressed my body against the wall, so he wouldn't see me the minute he would look this way. While I was hidden in the shadows I could clearly see and hear him.

I knew I should've backed away and made a run for another exit but my curiosity kept me glued to where I was. He was whispering so I scooted a little closer, and pricked up my ear to see if I could hear anything.

"Yes, sir I will make sure that she is well cared for. It's almost done; we don't have much time left." Then I heard a distinct hissing sound, which had to be the answer.

"Everything is following the plan. She is secure down in the basement." Another hissing sound chimed up and then I heard the demon curse, something fell to the floor and broke into pieces.

And then an ear piercing scream intersected the silence that had occurred after the object had broken. It was inhumane; everything was shaking under the volume the scream had involved to.

It had resemblances to an earthquake. After a few seconds the scream had died down, carefully I scrambled forward to try to steal a look at what it was that had happened to him.

To my surprise he was still standing on the same spot as before still clutching the goblet in his hands. I robbed backwards and carefully, trying to make no sound I sat one foot for the other and clung to the rotten railing.

Before every step I put my feet down to see if it would creak. My breath was raspy from fear, a thin layer of sweat appeared on my forehead.

I took step after step without making any suspicious noise everything was running smoothly until my I stepped into thin air, I couldn't catch myself so I fell.

With a defeated 'oomph' I collided with the floor. My lungs where squashed by the impact I had made and I was loudly trying to get bits of air back into them.

I had carelessly given any chance of an escape away.

Authors note

A cliff hanger. Do you hate me yet? So uh well, next update shouldn't take so long, school just kicked my ass royally. Anyways the summer holidays will begin soon, which equals plenty of time to write.


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